by Deniece Smith
In a world where everything seems to be the "world's best," "world's fastest," or "world's smartest," it is no wonder that many of us feel constantly insufficient. We are bombarded daily with exaggerated claims that make every experience or achievement seem extraordinary and unattainable. This tendency to exaggerate is not only tiring, but it's also contributing largely to the mental health crisis we face today.
It is unhealthy to constantly tell ourselves we need to be the best, achieve the most, or be the smartest. It is not reasonable to believe that the only being who is satisfactory is the one at the top. When only the best is ok, a message of, "I'm not OK," is left to the remaining 8 billion people. Is that really what we want to create, one winner and 8 billion losers?
There is so much value in the majority of things that are not record-setting. The most meaningful experiences are the ones where humans create connection, not division; where we resonate with each other, not point out differences; where we can look at another, share an experience, and be able to say, “I feel you feeling me.”
Think about the last time you scrolled through social media or read the news. Chances are, you were inundated with headlines that scream hyperbole—“The Most Incredible Meal Ever,” “The Fastest Way to Lose Weight,” “The Absolute Best Gadget You Need Right Now.” It seems harmless at first glance, but these constant exaggerations can lead to unrealistic expectations. Over time, they can sneak into our psyche causing us to believe that our lives must always be extraordinary, and if they’re not, we are somehow falling short. These exaggerations have the potential to erode our sense of self-worth.
A constant feeling of inadequacy creates frustration, anger and eventually violence. When we read that so many are having the “best day ever” or “crushing it” so frequently, we create a deep sense of dissatisfaction and even despair in our own mind. When we cannot find a way to be the best, we feel angry. Chronic anger is the path to violence.
Craving is the opposite of being satisfied. The mindset of exaggeration undermines the importance of balance and moderation in our lives. Instead of valuing satisfaction and joy, we push ourselves to crave bigger, faster, and better experiences. We are not designed to live in a perpetual state of excitement or urgency. Following cravings leads to just that.
By grounding ourselves in human connection, in caring for others, and stepping away from the noise of “the greatest” and “the best,” we make room for genuine contentment. We also open ourselves to freeing others who are tired of the exhausting performance of always needing to be "extraordinary."
Societies who prioritize purpose as being kind to others and helping them have a good day tend to have less violence and more satisfaction. The good news is if you insist on continuing your path towards the top, you can still be kind to others and help them know they matter. You know those videos of a runner who carries his injured opponent across the finish line with him? What stays in your mind in a positive way more? When the runner just ignores the opponent so he can win, or when he helps his opponent? It bring us to tears because we wish behavior like this could be more normalized. The good news is when we
behave like this, we normalize it.
Authenticity is the cornerstone of mental health, and potentially physical health as well. What if we realized that being something is more authentic than doing something? What if we found our authenticity in caring for others every day, and reaching to them to make sure that they know that they are important? When we have the intention of being kind, caring, altruistic and virtuous, no matter what we achieve on the corporate ladder or deposit into our monetary fund, we would have positive purpose every day. That creates a healthy mind.
We can start this journey by being mindful of our own language and the stories we tell. We can ask ourself, "Am I exaggerating?" When sharing about our day or our experiences, let’s focus on honesty rather than exaggeration. Let’s appreciate the small joys and quiet successes. And when we consume media, let’s be aware of how the exaggeration affects us and consciously choose not to buy into it.
By celebrating kindness, we can create a culture that values genuine well-being over competition and support everyone in feeling "enough" just as they are. We can help to bring health to our own mind and that of others.
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